CRUSH VERSARIES (episode 2)

P.S If you haven’t read episode 1 of crush versaries, kindly click the following link https://wp.me/p94lr3-1p as this post is sequential to it.

Thank you.✌

Quincy: Uliona vile Pogba alifanya majamaa Jana?

Kesar: Bana weh ule ni mnyama. Anashow value for his ‘buying money’.

Quincy: Sasa acha tupatane na nyinyi. City mnawaga mmejichocha Sana nyinyi. Last time mlitunyorosha juu Pogba hakua. Round this mtatii. Mtajua hamjui.

Kesar: Nyi ni ma’run mouth Sana. Acha game day ifike tutaona nani watanyoroshwa.

Quincy: Brathee nakushow raundi hii itakua mezesha design ya ngori we ngoja tu…

We then pause as I order bread from Kim, my favorite shopkeeper, who’s been so for the past… I don’t know… as long as I can remember…? He hands me the bread in exchange for a fifty shillings note

(double the amount I’d have paid when I was nine years old)

and I curse under my breathe but loud enough for Kesar to hear.

Why did I curse?

Well, it’s because I forgot to carry a bag with me.

So much for the plastic bag ban. I am forced to believe that the whole scheme is for a good cause. Anyway, what do I know?

I casually take the loaf in my hand and start walking away from the shop as Kesar rants about some chiq he’s been DM’ing on the gram. Excitement and joyous chatter rent the air & I instantly ask him for proof of her aesthetic factors with regards to the facial aspect of her existence which he promptly works towards.

Before I could mutter, “Abracadabra come & see my candelabra,” her mere sight had me transfixed to her direction glued to the ground & I could then somewhat feel the world revolving beneath my feet. My head went in to a frenzy & in my subconscious state, I noticed an opaque object block my view which I later learnt was Kesar’s phone as he strive to sink my face in to the evidence of the instagram hawty whose picture was now inches away from my face. My attention was however hijacked by her mere presence. Who else could it be? It was madam pretty face, small nose and thicc body herself, Urmi.

(Which reminds me that I forgot to mention in episode 1 that Urmi isn’t her real name. You’ll soon know why.)

Kesar is quick to tap me on the back & brings his fingers below my chin to rectify my agape state. I was too smitten to even reckon the fact that my blank stare was enough to scare her away or freak her out if not both. My eyes darted from her utosi to her feet caressing all the right places with utmost care, want & need.

Urmi: Nisaidie na bamba 20.

“Yes, ma’am! Naweza kubamba Mara 20,” was all that my tongue, teeth, gums & lips could fondle & ferry from my word source. Kesar chuckled while Urmi turned to look for the source of my uncalculated move, her eyes resting upon my skinny figure. Turns out my thinking out loud is too loud for comfort.

Urmi: Umeniongelesha?

Quincy: Eeeh. 🙊 I mean nooo. 😨😨

Urmi: ooh…

[Whispers]

Quincy: We Kesar ebu tupace…

Kesar: Aish acha nipolee kiasi, hii Mali imeweza brejin.

Quincy: Cheza mbali. Uskue na io roho…

Kesar: Ebu chill, uyu ni ule mdenge ulikua unanchapia? Ule ulisunda Adi riba yenu kwa blog yako? Vile ati ata umeshindwa kum’bongesha?

What happened next confirmed that our low tones were not as low as we deemed them to be…

Stay tuned!